'BigC's Torment'


Be Attitude For Gains:
- Good luck BigC you life very bad
- Good luck BigC you life very bad
- Good luck BigC you life very bad

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<BigC> darn it........
<BigC> I'm starting to have flashbacks about my friend killing himself again....
<BigC> A few years ago, my friend killed himself and he was a huge sonic fan
<BigC> it's no story.
<BigC> it's true


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<BigC> not like that, just some things are bothering me
<BigC> I'm starting having flashbacks of me and my friend playing sonic together
<BigC> his last game he played was Sonic 1 for the Genesis/Mega Drive


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<BigC> hey gang
<BigC> he doesn't come to my house anymore
<BigC> doesn't use irc
<BigC> says irc bad
<BigC> we used to have a site, tails&me.tripod.com
<BigC> my friend eddie jackson says irc bad


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<BigC> I wonder how it's going to do
<BigC> I hope they don't mess it up
<BigC> Every time I hear it on SSR, I start to cry a little because it reminds me of my best friend and it was one of his favorite songs.
<Jeiku> Until he died?
<BigC> yes


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<BigC> Thats it....
<BigC> I'm still playing Sonic Team/Sonic games in honor of my friend.
<BigC> that's how he wants it to be


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<BigC> I just had a flashback about my friend again
<BigC> when I listened to "Dreams Dreams" from NiGHTS.
<BigC> it was one of his favorite songs
<Kogen> Did a plane crash into him or something?
<BigC> no
<BigC> he killed himself


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<BigC> DAMN IT..........
<BigC> I'm just having bad flashbacks
<BigC> sorry.
<BigC> its cool
<BigC> I'm just having bad flashbacks about my friend again.
<BigC> I always do
<BigC> but that image of him killing himself is still burning in my mind
<BigC> brb...
<BigC> gonna take a quick walk


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<BigC> i'm doing ok
<BigC> Last night was hell for me
<BigC> I was listening to "Dreams Dreams" from NiGHTS on SSR
<BigC> NiGHTS into Dreams was the last game me and my friend played together
<BigC> I had a crying spell last night
<BigC> for about an hour
<Hoanui> What happened?
<BigC> he killed himself
<BigC> remember?
<BigC> My friend Brian killed himself
<BigC> a few years ago


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<BigC> whats up
<Sky_Shark> nothin much
<Sky_Shark> you?
<BigC> same.
<BigC> I had a flashback of my friend killing himself
<BigC> while listening to "Dreams Dreams" from NiGHTS
<BigC> which was the last game we played
<BigC> I had a crying spell for about an hour


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<BigC> What you guys think about the new NiGHTS
<BigC> I gave up on Nights yesterday
<BigC> It really got me upset yesterday
<SpeedKnux> Hard?
<BigC> no, no
<BigC> It was the last game me and my friend played before he killed himself


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<BigC> "Dreams Dreams" I think is a great song, but it's a little sappy
<BigC> After I listened to it last night on SSR
<BigC> I started to have a crying spell
<BigC> that would last an hour


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<BigC> I can't wait to get NiGHTS though
<BigC> It resembles me and my girlfriend in a special way.
<BigC> we both have goals and asirations
<BigC> somehow they get shot down when you are about to achieve it


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<BigC> damn it......
<BigC> she dumped me.
<BigC> my girlfriend dumped me
<BigC> from one fuckin heartache to another
<BigC> after 5 months
<BigC> why does my life feel like nothing but heartaches
<^DiZnEy^> Feels like you want to rip out your heart, right?
<BigC> no, worse.
<BigC> but I'm too strong to do that
<BigC> still I have a great life
<BigC> don't worry.
<BigC> I'll get her back, it's all part of the plan


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<BigC> what up
<BigC> I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<BigC> *cries*
<Hoanui> BigC: You watching AoStH, right? :P
<BigC> no
<BigC> just having flashbacks again
<BigC> Sucks what happened to my friend Brian who killed himself


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<BigC> I do really good in here
<BigC> I'm not a jerk at all
<Birdus> I've heard rumours about you, BigC.
<BigC> like what birdus?
<Birdus> you do not want to know.


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<BigC> I really do turn all my frustration and doubts into something positive
<BigC> Just have to enjoy life one day at a time.
<BigC> All you have to do is stay positive


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<BigC> please, don't ban me.
<BigC> I'm not that bad of a guy
<BigC> not a jerk at all


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<BigC> oh..
<BigC> sorry if I'm repeating myself


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<BigC> what up?
<BigC> I'm thankful for being alive.


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<BigC> NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<BigC> THIS CAN'T BE!
<BigC> Me and Cherish broke up......


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[Listening to Internet radio]
<BigC> oh no.....
<BigC> not today.....
<BigC> please...
<BigC> I'm not in the mood for nights music.


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<BigC> me and my girlfriend broke up yesterday.


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<BigC> feelin like shit right now
<BigC> just had a crying spell, not due to sonic
<BigC> it was about my grandmother
<BigC> she passed away in '99
<BigC> she lived with my family
<BigC> it was "over the rainbow" from wizard of oz
<BigC> Whenever it's played...
<BigC> I start to have crying spells


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<BigC> Feeling like crap at the moment.
<BigC> Some personal things

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<BigC> All of you are like a second family to me
<BigC> we all look out for each other
<BigC> JJ, can I speak to you in private

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<BigC> hows everyone
<BigC> had a little crying spell after work last night
<BigC> wasn't about my friend..
<BigC> or sonic.
<BigC> had a flashback about my grandmother passing away in 1999

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<BigC> my friend killed myself
<Si_BadGui> WE
<Si_BadGui> GET
<Si_BadGui> IT